A Love Poem- Finding Myself Again.

This last year now, I have felt a little lost. Uprooted, chasing a new shape or persona, unsure of how to actually adjust to a life almost completely different then the comfort I had known.

Maybe its the close of this decade- my 30’s, getting older. Maybe it was a move back over the Ocean after years and years abroad. Maybe it was going a bit against what felt right to try something that felt bold. There has been so much questioning myself, my choices- trying to hold onto a past self while all together knowing its time to shed, blossom, try new paths and venture forward not back.

All of this sounds like mumbo- jumbo without explanation, but I’m not going to, its mine. Instead I will say this- For myself, growth and wisdom and self reflection comes in the silence. Its quieting all of the noise around me to tune inward- who am I in this chapter, who have I become? Channeling energy that lights you up, so you can be who you see on the inside, outside, is sometimes, well, work- It takes a clear out of the past self, an opening of your heart and mind to embrace something new.

This past month, I have turned to self love. I have had enough of the constant battle of feeling un-easy, unsure, a bit sad, trying to re-kindle an old flame when fire sits on my horizon. I have always been one to change, to try on new ventures, to take on to much, feel caged and in need of an open road. So I turned to poetry- to journaling- to soft song. I quieted the noise. In this, I found Her- That Her inside that needed to spread wings, take flight-

It started with a drive… It always does.

I left the kids at home with pizza, grabbed my camera and a good playlist, and hit the road. I found myself at the beach, I found my feet in the sand, I found a sunset on a coastline. I found the breath. It was that simple.

Clarity came rolling in like thunder- I began to feel the weight rising off of my shoulders. Inspiration and calm through birds and sand. It has been months since I have done this, my last saying farewell to a mountain who became a kindred friend…. I knew I needed a drive, just didnt know how badly.

I wont make this mistake again- Hitting the road, walking in the woods, sitting on a coastline- quieting my mind to connect back to Her, its like magic.

As I write this I am feeling that same calm all over again- I see Her- I will try so hard in the chaos that takes over to remember this exact feeling- To seek out this post again, to get in the damn car, to take these moments for Me, to fill up my soul.

I hope you find inspiration to do the same… -xoxo